I’m gonna say the quiet part out loud if you all don’t mind. Most of us are not living as ourselves.

This was a wild revelation for me as I started on this journey but most of us are living as the survival version of ourselves.

The version we built when we realized:

• Crying wasn’t allowed.

• Dreaming was dangerous.

• Being “too much” got you laughed at.

• Being “too little” got you invisible.

So we adapted. We learned the rules of approval. We figured out who to be in the room to get the least amount of emotional shrapnel.

And here’s the really wild part. You started survival mode between the ages of 5 and 10 years old.

And it worked... kind of.

You got the good job.

You got the social media following.

Maybe you even have some real life friends too.

But somewhere along the way, you lost something way more important… the real YOU!

You didn’t fail.

You didn’t quit.

You just got... buried.

Under expectations.

Under image management.

Under survival instincts.

Today, we start digging your real ass out.

Why You Don’t Even Recognize Yourself Anymore

You Got Good at Being the Wrong You

If you’re anything like me, you got really fucking good at playing the game.

High-functioning.

High-achieving.

High-key miserable.

You’re the all-star of a game you never actually wanted to win.

You’ve been running up the scoreboard in a stadium that you hate being in.

And now you’re wondering why you’re exhausted and nothing feels meaningful.

You Traded Authenticity for Approval

Every "yes" you said when you wanted to say "no"?

Every time you bit your tongue instead of speaking your mind?

Every time you "toned it down" so other people wouldn't feel uncomfortable?

That shit adds up.

Not all at once, it’s a slow leak.

But over time, it drains the color out of your life.

You don't wake up one day totally lost.

You erode into it.

Fear Gave You Amnesia

You’re not clueless.

You’re not broken.

You’re not "still trying to find yourself" like a lost AirPod.

You KNOW who you are.

You just buried the evidence.

Because being real once hurt.

And your brain’s only job is to protect you from that pain again.

So it whispers.. “Better stay small. Better stay likable. Better stay digestible.”

You’re still afraid to stand out, speak up or say anything that would ruffle feathers.

Why?

Because you think your 4th grade teacher will pop around the corner and write you up and send you to detention.

I’ll let you in on a secret… that won’t happen.

And you weren’t born to be digestible.

You were born to be undeniable.

The Excavation Blueprint

How to Find the Real You Without a Shovel, a Life Coach, or Ayahuasca in the Desert.

Step 1: Spot the Survival Self

First, you need to separate Survival You from Real You.

Ask yourself:

• What parts of me did I build just to be accepted?

• Where am I exhausted from performing instead of just being?

• What would I STOP doing tomorrow if I wasn't afraid of judgment?

If you want to know who you really are, look at who you were before the world got its hands on you.

Step 2: Name the Old Scripts

Your survival self is running old scripts that sound like:

• "Don't rock the boat."

• "Don’t outshine anyone."

• "Don’t dream too big or you'll look stupid."

These scripts aren’t facts. They’re just stories you started telling yourself when you were trying not to get hurt.

You’re allowed to retire them now.

Step 3: Reconnect With Your Original Frequency

Beneath the noise?

You’ve got a signal that’s still broadcasting.

That version of you who:

• Had stupid dreams that made no logical sense

• Said weird shit without double checking if it sounded "smart"

• Lit up when doing things that didn’t make you a dollar but made you feel alive

That’s still in there… Waiting.

You don’t have to find yourself. You have to remember yourself.

Step 4: Take One Micro Act of Realness

Forget the 5 year plan.

Forget the Instagram rebrand.

Forget trying to build an empire by Thursday.

Today, do one tiny thing that Survival You would never allow.

• Say what you actually think once in a conversation.

• Wear the weird clothes you love but "don’t fit the vibe."

• Do the creative thing that makes zero money but makes your heart race.

Tiny acts of rebellion become massive acts of rebirth.

Make It Stick: Your Challenge This Week

Here’s your move:

1. Write down 3 traits your younger self had before the world trained it out of you.

2. Circle the one you miss the most.

3. Bring that trait to life in ONE real action this week.

It can be messy.

It can be small.

It just has to be true.

Because the real you doesn’t come back in a dramatic lightning storm. They come back one little “hell yes” at a time.

The Truth You’ve Been Avoiding

You don’t have to build a better version of yourself.

You have to unbury the real one.

You are not a project.

You are a recovery mission.

And the people you're meant to serve, love, and inspire?

They don't need the polished, LinkedIn optimized, over caffeinated version of you. They need the real fucking thing.

It’s time.

Dig.

Your Turn:

What’s one part of the real you that you’re ready to stop hiding?

Hit reply and tell me. Let’s pull you out of the rubble.

– Ned

P.S. Know someone still living as the "safe version" of themselves? Forward this to them. They’ll thank you later… I’ll thank you immediately.