Where the Hell Do You Want to Go?

Let me ask you something: Where do you actually want to go?

Not, What’s your next promotion? or How can you make more money? But What’s the endgame?

It’s wild how many people spend their entire careers sprinting toward a destination they never chose. And honestly? I know, because I was one of them.

In 2020, I woke up with a massive bank account, a dope house, a cool truck, and… nothing else. My wife had left me. I’d abandoned my friends. If you’d asked me my goals, I’d have said: “More money, more things, and fck everything else.”

I thought that if I just outworked and outhustled everyone, I’d finally be happy. But waking up in a big, empty house, spending money just to make myself feel something, that wasn’t quite what I had in mind at 21 when I started this journey called adulthood.

For the next 18 months, I doubled down. I wore my “I don’t care, work harder” mask and told myself I could hustle my way out of the emptiness. But eventually, it all came crashing down.

One day, I had to admit the truth: I had no clue where the hell I was going, or what I even wanted.

Then, everything changed.

I’d met this incredible girl in Jacksonville during my “self-discovery” phase, and for the first time in years, I realized I wanted something real. But here’s the kicker… I knew I couldn’t win her over if I kept working until 10 PM every night or stayed the guy I’d become.

She made me see that the life I was living wasn’t something she, or anyone, for that matter, would be excited to be part of. And honestly? Neither was I.

That realization hit hard. If I wanted her in my life, I had to figure out where I actually wanted to go, what kind of life I wanted to live, and who I wanted to become.

So yeah… a girl made me change my ways. Romantic, right?

But today, this isn’t about my love story. It’s about stopping you from hitting rock bottom, grinding toward someone else’s goals, and realizing too late that you’ve been heading in the wrong direction.

Let’s change that.

Why Most People Don’t Know Their Destination

1. They’re Stuck Chasing “The Next Thing.”

   • Promotions, titles, bigger houses, it’s like an endless game of professional hopscotch. We’re taught to keep jumping, but no one asks if we’re even on the right sidewalk.

2. They Fear Picking the Wrong Path.

   • “What if I choose wrong?” Here’s the truth: staying stuck is worse than picking a path that needs tweaking. At least when you start moving, you can reroute.

3. They’ve Never Taken the Time to Stop and Ask.

   • Between meetings, emails, and the hustle to stay relevant, when’s the last time you asked yourself, What do I actually want? Not what looks good, but what feels good.

The Destination Clarity Blueprint

Here’s how to figure out where the hell you want to go, even if you’ve felt stuck for years.

Step 1: Get Brutally Honest About What You Don’t Want

Sometimes the easiest way to find clarity is by starting with what drains you.

• Make a “Hell No” List:

  • What parts of your life or work feel like they’re stealing your energy?

  • What have you been saying “yes” to out of fear, guilt, or obligation?

  • What habits, routines, or even people make you dread your days?

👉 Example: If 90% of your calendar is full of meetings that go nowhere, your “Hell No” might be “no more purposeless time sinks.”

Step 2: Define Your “North Star”

This isn’t about a five year plan (gross). It’s about figuring out your direction, your “why.” Start with these questions:

• When was the last time I felt fully alive?

• What brings me joy? (My answer was literally nothing)

• What’s one thing I could do every day and never get bored?

• Who do I actually want to help or impact?

👉 Pro Tip: Focus on people, not tasks. Most fulfilling goals are tied to serving or connecting with others, not just personal gain.

Step 3: Make a “Starter Map”

You don’t need to figure it all out today. Just create a rough map to get moving:

• What’s one small step that aligns with your North Star?

  • Example: If mentoring lights you up, offer to coach a junior colleague.

  • Example: If creativity excites you, block time this week to work on a passion project.

👉 Reminder: Your map will evolve as you go. Clarity comes from action, not overthinking.

The Science of Knowing Your Destination

This isn’t just feel good advice. There’s data behind it:

• People with clear goals are 3x more likely to feel fulfilled at work (Harvard Business Review).

• Living with purpose adds up to 7 years to your life (Journal of the American Medical Association).

  Purpose doesn’t happen by accident. It’s built through intentional, small decisions every day.

What’s Next: Activating Your Inner GPS

Next week, we’ll talk about turning your destination into reality. Think of it as activating your Inner GPS: small, actionable steps that help align your daily grind with your long-term vision.

This Week’s Challenge

Here’s how you get started:

1. Write down your “Hell No” List today.

2. Define your North Star in one clear sentence.

3. Take one small action toward it this week.

Hit reply and tell me: What’s your North Star? I read every email.

Until next time,
Ned

P.S. Know someone who’s grinding without a goal? Forward this email, they’ll thank you later… I’ll thank you immediately!